Empathy is an essential leadership skill, but it is a skill that is not often considered when looking at leadership development. The 2023 Empathy in Business Survey by Ernst and Young LLP (US), found that 87% of workers say empathy is essential to fostering an inclusive environment.
Their survey also found that:
- 88% feel it leads to job satisfaction
- 87% feel it leads to creativity
- 86% feel it leads to idea sharing
- 85% feel it leads to innovation
- 88% feel it leads to increased efficiency
Given the great benefits of leading with empathy, it makes sense that it is a skill to be developed if leaders are to be inclusive and get exceptional results.
Empathy is the ability to understand another person’s perspective. It is about being able to understand someone else’s experience, emotions, and perspective (even if you have never had that particular experience). It is as if you put yourself in their shoes to understand what is going on for them.
In his work on emotional intelligence, Daniel Goleman refers to three types of empathy, namely, cognitive, emotional, and compassionate. Respectively, these are the ability to understand another person’s perspective or mental state; the ability to feel what another person is experiencing emotionally; and the ability to not only understand and feel the other person’s emotion, but you are moved to do something to help them.
Empathy is beneficial for understanding why people are the way they are and why they act and behave the way they do. When individuals feel like they are understood in this way, they are more likely to feel included and like they belong.
When leaders have empathy, not only does this increase productivity and morale, but it also improves employee retention. Employees who feel understood, included, and like they belong, are less likely to want to exit the organisation. By having empathy, leaders can take the understanding they gain through this insight into consideration when making decisions and developing plans.
Empathy is a skill that can be developed
For some leaders, empathy comes naturally. For others, it does not. But thankfully, empathy is a skill that can be developed. A key factor in developing empathy is active listening. Listening performs a substantial proportion of our communication, but many of us only listen at a surface level. We finish people’s sentences for them and/or we get distracted, then do not get the gist of what is said.
Active listening requires giving your full attention to the person speaking and resisting the urge to interrupt or finish their sentence for them. Paraphrasing what they have said enables you to ensure that you have heard them correctly, as well as shows them that you are listening.
It also involves observing body language, tone of voice, and non-verbal communication to help pick up on what the person is thinking and feeling. Asking open questions helps the person to elaborate on what they are thinking and feeling, enabling you to get a better understanding of what may be going on for them.
Make time for self-reflection. Regular self-reflection helps increase your self-awareness and better understand personal biases that may hinder you from developing empathy. Understanding your own emotions and why you react the way that you do, enhances your ability to understand and connect with others. In addition to self-reflection, getting feedback from others helps you to understand how you are perceived.
Case study of a leader lacking empathy
Sue was a director who had unrealistic expectations of her team and lacked empathy when they thought they were going above and beyond, but she did not. When they thought they had done something well, she viewed it as them just doing what was required of them.
She did not have a good relationship with team members, and it was as if they were cautious when in her presence. By developing her empathy skills, she recognised that the unrealistic expectations she placed on her team put too much pressure on them. As a result, they were fearful of her.
By developing empathy, she saw that she had perfectionist tendencies and that her expectations of her team were unrealistic. By being more empathetic, she got to know and understand her team better, improved her relationship with them, and improved morale.
If you want to get exceptional results as an inclusive leader, what can you do to develop your empathy skills?
Carol Stewart
Carol Stewart is an Executive, Career and Leadership Coach, founder of Abounding Solutions and author of Quietly Visible: Leading with Influence and Impact as an Introverted Woman (listed as one of the 10 best self-development books written by women to read during lockdown by BEYOUROWN). With over 25 years coaching and leadership experience, Carol coaches leaders to lead with confidence, influence, and impact.
